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Today

November 17, 2004

Today I put out many fires, and was blamed for pretty much all of them, even though my job duties actually factor into such a small small part of the equation. Im on the creative team, Im not the brand mgr. Just sayin. If the mgr doesnt communicate changes AND the necessary people DONT OPEN THEIR EMAILS TO READ OF THE CHANGES, then how is it that I’m all of a sudden the one everyone points the finger at b/c at one meeting, 3 weeks after the fact, I didnt correct someone when they called out the wrong date?

Shaking head. Its almost funny. I received an apology from one of the yelling parts and was promised infinite amounts of coffee.

DJ and I had our laughs, as he is now the “art director” and I am now the “manager.” Its funny only b/c we are pretty low on the totem pole in terms of actual power, yet apparently we are the bricks and mortar of the entire freakin division–the creative team of all people. Good times.

Also found out my role is changing–again, both funny and strange. Ill be doing more photography and more overall “managing” of lord only knows what. We’re getting a new person in and I guess Ill basically just be telling him/her what to do, and then taking the blame if its not done to the other teams’ whims.

Dinner with Drei2 was canceled. He broke up w/his gf today. I didn’t mind the bailing, I was tired and wanted to catch the express bus home anyway.

After my fun-filled day at work, I came home, finally made travel arrangements home, and then called my mom to inform her of the details. She sounded so disoriented when I talked to her. She told me about my dad, about my brother, how she feels helpless, and then she started crying.

Lemme tell you–good times.

After I got off the phone, I really really really wished I had *that person* I could talk to–that I could unload everything on, who would comfort me, take care of me. But nobody was home. Zakk was off to bed. SCB is always unavailable. So I blabbered to DJ some, before i became totally absorbed in the tele.

I guess Im glad I have DJ to tell these things to, but at the same time, he doesnt really know me on that intimate level that allows for a deeper communication. Its that same ol’ lonely feeling of missing that person to share these types of moments with. And it made me even more sad–b/c my mom really has nobody to confide in either.

I’m going to set my new alarm clock to the ocean waves sleep setting and hope I at least have peaceful dreams.

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