“This post is about the week or so we spent in Peru – the post I’ve been meaning to write, but never got around to it.
Our time there: great, adventurous, ate lots of food, met quite a few people, stayed at some really cool places, and spent about 8 hours in Machu Picchu itself (we think it must be a record).
Favorite moment: driving in the countryside with our Spanish-speaking cab driver-friend, drinking sketchy corn beer and hanging out with locals who were so warm and happy (?) to see us.
But since this blog is about the trials and tribulations of my relationship(s) with other people, namely, my significant other, I’ll say this:
Boyfriends take shitty pictures.
You would think it would be the opposite. That if someone loved you, they could at least take a decent picture of you, right? In fact, not just decent, but an apple-of-the-eye type photo – the kind people look at and think, “Now I know what he sees in her.”
We were at the start of our trip, and still relatively tired and catching up with our sleep. Because of our extremely early pre-dawn flights, we would end up arriving at our destination, exploring some, then taking a nap so that we would have some energy for the remainder of the day.
On our 2nd or 3rd day in Peru, 3 cities and 10,000 miles altitude later, we were exploring nearby ruins. It began to sprinkle, then it began to rain. Undeterred, we hiked on, taking tons of pictures. I probably took some of my favorite photos of him/us that day. After several successful photos, I handed the camera to NG, with specific instructions on where and how to take the photo(s).
First photo of me standing underneath a doorway contained 3 other tourists standing in front of me in bright yellow ponchos. (there’s a reason why this photo is so cropped in)
Second photo of me sitting on the steps (a shot that took him at least 10-15 tries) included one of the groundskeepers staring at me in the background. He also took the shot so far away that I look tiny. (again, I had to crop WAY into this one. The effect: I look like a cadaver)
Third shot of me sitting on some massive stone steps, lounging back. At first, I thought the photo was good…then I zoomed in and…my eyes were half closed and looking off to the side.
(picture too ugly to post, but this is where I was sitting)
“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME MY EYES WERE CLOSED?”
“Sorry, we can take it again.”
“NO, NEVERMIND I DON’T WANT TO TAKE IT AGAIN, NOW I HAVE TO GO BACK UP THE STEPS”
“Let’s just take it again”
“DON’T YOU CHECK TO SEE IF THE PICTURE IS GOOD BEFORE YOU TELL ME ITS OK TO MOVE?”
“Well, it does look good”
“YOU THINK *THAT* LOOKS *GOOD*?”
“Yeah, I do”
“HOW IS CLOSING MY EYES LOOKING GOOD? I LOOK TIRED AND BUSTED”
“NO IT’S NOT”
“It’s not a big deal, lets just take it again”
“IT IS A BIG DEAL IF ALL MY PICTURES OF ME IN PERU LOOK THIS UGLY”
“Ok, lets take another picture then.”
After that, he was pissed at me b/c I was pissed at him.
Fourth shot of me, standing on a rock with the ruins in the background. He took like 30 minutes to set up the shot, and after I told him to hurry it up because people were watching us, he finally snapped 5-6 photos. I ran back to look at them. Again. Blurry face. (this is one of the better ones)
The truth is, the camera don’t lie. I was tired that day, and consequently, I looked like shit. In all liklihood, no amount of creative angles or lighting could have saved a photo of me on that day. But still. Still…
On the plus side, after that outburst, he took much better photos.
On the negative side, he still doesn’t understand what a portrait shot is. (close, but he didn’t understand how to fill the space with the portrait, altho the first one acheived the blurry background characteristic of a portrait shot)
I still like those pictures because they tell a story.
But still. It shouldn’t be this hard.