The dreaded Vday

Around midnight, after a tarot session with IBSY, I did one of my own. Very interesting indeed. I’ll post a detailed account later, but I found it interesting and actually, very calming. I slept really well last night.

My roomate, the new Jelly, left us a box of chocolates and a card on the kitchen counter before he left for work. What a sweet bastard.

DJ gave me a valentine–but he gave everyone valentines, so its not like I received an awkward bouquet of roses or something from him.

At lunch, me, DJ, and the Bulldog all ate together and just talked about vday and relationships. We all laugh b/c our team, out of any in our company, is assembled of 4 of the most hardened people who have been through all sorts of relationship hell at various stages in their lives. While we were talking, it started to pour outside, and we all took a little bit of pleasure in that.

Nobody had brought an umbrella to lunch, so we ran like kids in the rain, trying to stay dry, but failing miserably. It was strangely fun and free, and even though we were soaked by the time we got inside the office, we were giggling the rest of the day.

I didn’t have any plans, and I actually felt really okay about that. DJ and I walked to the bus stop together–the first time in quite a while–and had a really good conversation along the way. Downtown was a mess, and we both agreed–with no bitterness whatsoever–that the idea of going home and brewing a cup of tea and just being able to enjoy doing nothing without the pressure of roses and dinner reservations and getting primped, sounded like the best thing in the world.

Of all the people I saw dragging their feet on the bus, carrying balloons and flowers and little bears, not one smiled or seemed genuinely happy or thrilled. Everyone stared at their feet or off into space. And I thought–they are no better off than me.

As far as days go, today was pretty good. As far as Valentines days–not so bad. It wasn’t last year–it wasn’t disneyland and monterey and a bf I thought cared about me. But at the same time, Im not necessarily sure I would have wanted that either.

Oh, and by the way–scb emailed me today. Its really not worth mentioning, except his choice of days seems pretty calculated.

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