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the bachelor finale

February 28, 2006

So, Travis on the bachelor chose the plain vanilla girl-next-door. I ask you – why come all the way to Paris, be exposed to 25 different women, only to make the safe choice? I’m not saying that I didn’t like the girl he chose, but she’s such a Skipper.

Scripted or not, I have to admit that both me and C were entirely glued to the tv. The emotions of both Travis and the 2 girls seemed so spot on. Well, except that the bachelor was a little too perfect in the whole thing – even in breaking up with the girl he was perfect – giving her feelings validation, and acknowledging that he felt something very real with her. What guy admits that?

And so it ended with Skipper winning the bachelor, and the dark enigmatic Moana going crying in the limo. I think she put it best though when she said, “Guys like Travis do not go for girls like me.” C and I both looked at each other and said, “exactly. Thats exactly it.”

In other words, “guys like travis” may feel a connection, or an intrigue with someone they are not used to seeing themselves with, but in the end, they always make the safe choice – they always go with the perky ex-cheerleader turned-kindergarten teacher types. I don’t get it. Wouldnt you want a girl who challenged you? Someone who shows another side of you? Rather than a girl who just makes you feel “relaxed?”

Upon further analysis (C and I have saved the show on tivo so we can go back and analyze) we determined that the only solution to this madness is that Travis is gay. I mean, go back and rewind him kissing the girls and its like someone is putting a gun to his head. We have determined that he picked the girl next door bc shes the most willing to believe the whole sham and that moana would be onto it way too fast. Plus, she lives like 1/2 a mile a way from him so its easy.

Now we need to go back and watch all the footage and determine all the moment that clearly illustrate he’s not into women.

Sigh. It was a such a relief to realize this. Because there was no way Travis is real. No fucking way. Impossible. Guys like him do not exist.

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