I know–its just another day. The magic has long-since been lost, and the constant badgering of fake holiday cheer perpetuated by greedy retailers and incessant radio play of christmas songs has made today all that much more irritable.
on top of that, there has been the lingering dread that today would come and for the first time ever, my dad wouldn’t be here.
If life had a movie script ending, I would be held to believe that by the end of today, I would either a)find love b)get my dream house c)find happiness d)have my dad back.
The reality is–that on Christmas Eve, 2006, I went on a hike at Land’s End–at the edge of the California coast–from Baker Beach to Ocean Beach. I walked in bitter cold and watched the waves swirl and hit the coastline’s rocks. I watched the sky turn from murky gray to liquid orange, and watched as the sunset illuminated the trees and water and grass in a pinkish glow.
I looked far far out into the sea–where the delineation between sky and water became fuzzy–where the pink mixed with blue and became lavender. And I thought of Dad. How somewhere far far out there, inbetween the fuzzy lavender, he must still somehow exist.
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