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    Happy Birthday, Sabine

    Sabine would have turned 5 today. We were looking forward to throwing her a party, dressing her up, and baking her a tuna cake.

    Coincidentally, we received a surprise package today from C — a CD of photos of Sabine, and some toys for Max. Max has typical second child syndrome — hand-me-down (pink) toys that his sisters have cast off. He doesn’t seem to mind (he finds paper exciting), but he loves having toys of his ‘own’ too.

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    Follow up

    I just called our vet to schedule an appointment for Pandora and Max. The receptionist asked about Sabine. Silence. Choking back tears, I told her she passed away last week very…


    sometimes, I can pretend it didn’t happen

    Or sometimes it seems like she’s still here, but hiding, or downstairs, or maybe even at someone else’s house, and I’ll see her sometime soon. But then I see something that…


    Things left behind

    Our house *feels* different now. The same home, same things, just different. As if I stepped into some parallel world where everything looks exactly the same, but doesn’t feel quite right.…


    3:28 am

    Sabine passed away at home in my arms less than three hours ago, with Sly holding her paw. She was exactly two months shy of her fifth birthday. I sang her…



    I didn’t sleep much last night. Every time Sabine woke up and rustled around, I also woke up to make sure she was getting what she needed — water, bathroom, whatever.…


    Home at last

    After 5 days of being hospitalized, Sabine is resting comfortably at home. The previous week, since around Valentine’s Day, Sabine was acting a little odd…nothing too alarming, but she was urinating…


    To my little girl

    Sabine, You’ve been in the hospital the past three days, fighting for your life. I can’t believe how different it feels not having you here…shadowing me…pawing at me…meowing at me. No…


    Wide Angle lens

    I waited at home today for UPS to arrive to deliver me my new wide angle lens. Naturally, Fatty and Frumpy were likely test subjects. Sabine didn’t want to cooperate. She…