I am having 2 separate and conflicting thoughts concerning babies.
I’m really sick of baby talk, baby blogs, baby photos on facebook, baby albums, people talking about other babies, the baby mama club, my baby is so cute when in fact, the baby is not cute, but you have to agree with the mom-friend or youre and asshole, baby talk in general as the only topic of conversation between people in my age group. I was talking to my coworker yesterday about how I dont want to be "just a mom," and how sometimes, when I see/hear a bratty, crying baby (I’m not buying into the Children are Innocent thing), I want to crush his/her head like a tiny little grape.
This part of me is tired of babies and wants nothing to do with them.
On the other hand, there are times when I am taken off guard, when I interact with a child, or become amazed by how interesting someone else’s baby is growing, & developing, and turning into a little inquisitive person. Sometimes (but not very often), I think that having a child, or having a family, would be kind of nice. I don’t really feel like there’s an empty space that needs filling, per se. Sometimes, I think this tiny inclination towards babies is selfish–I’ve had a pretty good childhood, and sometimes I think having babies is a way to live vicariously through your children and share in what you remembered of your childhood.
Or maybe, its nothing more than science — my biological clock telling me that time is running out if I want to breed.