mm hmm

ziggy admitted he wanted to kiss me last night. he said that there were only two times when he felt compelled (and even then it was just a fleeting thought) and that those 2 times were after our first meeting and then last night. he also said that he wasnt telling me b/c he expected any sort of reaction, etc, being that we’ve had variations of the same conversation like 8 million times. He just told me, i guess, b/c i had mentioned that whenever we meet or part, its always somehow awkward.

what can i say, im always awkward and nervous no matter who it is.

we also gushed to each other about the connection/friendship/closeness we feel/felt. again, no expectations.

finally talked to scb today via IM. time difference combined w/work sucks. I can only catch him for a few minutes in the early morning. it makes me sad that i dont really go to him anymore to tell him about my day. we just save the highlights for our longer sunday talks. he doesnt email me either. and i guess ive given up emailing him.

i guess this is us growing apart, which i guess was bound to happen. still, it makes me very very sad.

on the work front–no prospects as far as guys are concerned. one guy i know for sure is gay. one is questionable. the other i havent met. not that anything would come of anything but i still like to scope out the situation. research purposes, and all.

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