mm hmm

October 6, 2004

ziggy admitted he wanted to kiss me last night. he said that there were only two times when he felt compelled (and even then it was just a fleeting thought) and that those 2 times were after our first meeting and then last night. he also said that he wasnt telling me b/c he expected any sort of reaction, etc, being that we’ve had variations of the same conversation like 8 million times. He just told me, i guess, b/c i had mentioned that whenever we meet or part, its always somehow awkward.

what can i say, im always awkward and nervous no matter who it is.

we also gushed to each other about the connection/friendship/closeness we feel/felt. again, no expectations.

finally talked to scb today via IM. time difference combined w/work sucks. I can only catch him for a few minutes in the early morning. it makes me sad that i dont really go to him anymore to tell him about my day. we just save the highlights for our longer sunday talks. he doesnt email me either. and i guess ive given up emailing him.

i guess this is us growing apart, which i guess was bound to happen. still, it makes me very very sad.

on the work front–no prospects as far as guys are concerned. one guy i know for sure is gay. one is questionable. the other i havent met. not that anything would come of anything but i still like to scope out the situation. research purposes, and all.

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