post new years: NG extended his trip so that he could stay another weekend. This was the first time i think i felt really sad to see him leave. Not that i didnt feel sad before, but it was really hard this time. It was nice to have him around and do absolutely nothing–we watched movies, put together a puzzle, ate tons of japanese food, went shopping (he bought me a coat 🙂 ) and laid around watching crappy reality tv. We also tried this aussie place — South — for brunch. The chef was there putting out the food and mingling about. Small but quaint and reminded me a lot of Prune in nyc. We don’t get to do a lot of “normal” things like this. Being LD and all, theres a lot of stress on cramming a crapload of things into the very small time period that we are together. Either we are too tired to do stuff or we do way too much stuff. And things like eating sushi while watching tv seems like a waste of time.
I thought how nice it would be to have him nearby–to see him like normal people see each other. To be able to grab drinks after work or have the ability to just hang out on a weeknight if we wanted to. Sigh. LDRs. How do i get myself into these things.
I also talked to X2 today–he told me he didnt see himself with children. I don’t know if I see myself as a mom, but the irony is that he is the first person that actually made me see myself having kids with. Before that–didnt want kids at all. Now…I dont know. Being a mom is weird. I’m not sure I could ever fit that label. But having kids could be ok. So um yah, weird with the ex. And i guess it just shows once again how different we are.
The only good thing is that for the first time he was able to talk to me like an adult about some of the experiences we shared in the past. I dont understand why people skirt around the issue: we went out, we broke up. so what. What is so taboo about talking about the past. This is the first time we were able to discuss things like our trip to Utah, and laugh about the strange incidents that occurred. It sucks that he seems to have Alzheimers in many instances, but regardless it was the first decent conversation I think I have had with him where he finally acknowledged a past did exist.
It’s still early, but this year i wanted to plan some trips that I couldnt do in the past bc all the rooms were booked.
Jan: RD visits. YAY! I think we’ll go to napa, and hang out in the city. Its been a long long time.Feb: Yosemite for vday (I hope)March: NG’s bday…I booked a place in a lighthouse south of san francisco. unfortunately all lighthouses that are habitable in Ca seem to be hostels…we got a private room and all, but 30 yrs old in a hostel doesnt seem quite as charming as it once did. Regardless…its something HE/I wanted to do forever.
May: Hawaii for wedding. I think we’re still going. I have tickets, but will prob just end up traveling around hawaii for the most part. I want to camp, rent an RV, hike, scuba, visit NG’s other brother, etc
July: Another camping trip I’ve wanted to do in the backcountry of Sequoia National Park. There are these cabins up on the ridge somewhere–a 7 hr hike there, 7 hr hike back. Once you get there, you stay in these tent like structures where there all the gourmet meals are prepared and paid for. I almost had a stroke when they told me how much it was. But these cabins book up by the first week of january, so i went ahead and took the dates. I can’t wait. Apparently you can go fishing and you can hike to waterfalls.
Maybe this will also be the year we do lost coast…