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mid-week update

Ive been on a photo shoot this past week. I thought for sure that I’d meet some eligible men as I knew there were a couple of dudes, besides the photographer, that would be on set.

Well, there were def. guys there. 3 out of 4 are married and way out of my age range anyway (but really cool dudes–not overly artsy pretentious hipster at all). The other dude (strangely, the one with the most official title) is just way too toasted looking. Great guy. Genuinely nice. But talking about surf’s up dude.

In our off time–while we are waiting for the shots to be set up–me and the girls on set talk about boys. Im basically the only singleton there, and consequently, the only person who doesn’t have a 3 carat ring weighing down my ring finger. Shit. Ive never seen so much bling in my entire life. I cannot figure out of understand the lifestyles of these people. How the hell can they afford Land Rovers, 800,000+ houses, private schools for their kids, and diamonds so large, theyre blinding. Its like some weird twilight zone.

Sadly, that seems to be the mentality here. People just either live way beyond their means, or aspire to do so. Its just bewildering that this is the norm, not the exception. They keep talking about “finding me a boyfriend” but honestly, I do not want to date a guy with a fancy car, who could identify a designer bag, or who dresses too well. Even the hipster-types who frequent hole-in-the-walls are wearing $160 jeans.

In conclusion–no hope for men from this venue.

Other updates:
* still not too thrilled with dj’s flake-out on friday. i have to see him tomorrow. i really dont want to deal w/stupid boy drama from a friend
* contemplated *calling* scb for some reason today. it was after i had ran my fastest 5K yet (which is actually not all that fast…), so i was feeling good and happy and thought that it was stupid. that life was too short, etc. I came to the conclusion that I dont hate him, or rather, that I dont like to hate him. I dont like that we have reached this distant point in our relationship. On the other hand, I dont know how to have a relationship with someone who made me feel like such a fool–at least I dont know how to do it and retain any sense of dignity.

Sigh. such dilemmas.

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