Life as Paris Hilton


Went to Fergie’s white party yesterday. Me and the bulldog planned our outfits carefully–he wanted to be a backstreet boy, I wanted to be a Hilton. I’d say we both did a pretty good job.

My outfit — completely assembled from Forever 21 merchandise — consisted for a strappy tiered tube top w/a large silver beeded center, a short short white skirt, long drop earrings, a silver cuff consisting of 50 bracelets, and strappy tie up silver shoes (those werent from forever 21). I gave myself a “cockateil hairdo”–puffed up, brushed back bangs, slicked back sides. I had really dark eye makeup with glossy lips.

I was pretty apprehensive about the whole outfit. I rarely do skirts, esp short short ones. And I rarely do makeup, esp. a lot of it, and god knows I rarely do my hair, except to pull it back into a ponytail, buuut, I think I did an ok job of pulling it off.

Who knew that dressing like a glam whore could open so many doors…literally. When the cab arrived, the cabbie immediately bolted from his seat and rushed to open my door for me. We drove to the bulldog’s house to pick him up on our way to Fergie’s. He came out holding a bottle of malibu and looking totally backstreet boy band. omg it was hilarious. The cab driver took one look at him and said, “OH MY GOD (w/foreign accent)” I started laughing and he asked if that was who we were waiting for. When the bulldog got in the cab, the cab driver said “I didn’t know what to think, I have a beautiful lady in the car and out comes this guy looking like that…” So funny.

No sooner than I had stepped out of the cab than did a car of guys drive by catcalling me. embarrassing. this is why I dont like getting dressed up.

The party itself, held in Fergie’s studio apartment w/an amazing backyard, was pretty chill. My coworker, Gisele, and her friends were there, as was my ex-coworker J-dog who was let go a while back. Everyone was completely smashed.

And what of the guy who Fergie was supposed to set me up with? He was there, and he was pretty cute. He totally looked like some ex-beatles band member or something–tall, lanky, shaggy rocker/hipster hair. He stared at me the whole night, and then towards the end, Fergie tried to make out with him. He apparently didn’t respond, but instead talked about his ex-gf. Eh, I wasn’t interested or not interested, he was just there. Another person staring at me and making me feel even more awkward in my getup. There was one part of the night where I think that he was trying to get involved in our convo, but it was just sooo awkward. He had gone to get a drink and then on his way to the backyard, stopped where Gisele and I were talking and just stood there. Didn’t say anything, didn’t really butt in, just stood there…next to me…awkward.

But like I said, when I heard he and Fergie were outside alone, I wrote him off, got another lychee martini, and watched the rest of the party play twister.

By the end of the night, I had accumulated a full-length fur coat, and the bulldog’s shades. We totally looked like we came out of a rap video.

At around 3 am, everyone had more or less gone, and the bulldog and I sat outside shooting the shit. That’s when I found out that he has a thing for Gisele and that he has been asking her out on *dates* for a while now. OMG. Thing is, Gisele has a bf!

The things you learn.

Back in the cab, on our way home. Once again, the cabbie rushed to get out of the cab to open my door. As he pulled the door open, he told me that I looked very beautiful. Strange how differently people treat you when you make an effort. Wear a short skirt, and you get the star treatment.

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