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f’in’ myspace

March 14, 2007

this is a sidenote, but I wanted to include the strangest correspondence I’ve had w/someone on myspace as of yet. All I gotta say is–I would hate for this lady to be my mom. (background: my myspace acct shows my name as “your mom” It is also private. The only way you can find me is by email.)

Letter #1 from this weird lady:
Subject: Be…
Body: Nicer.

I didnt respond and then I received
Letter #2 from this weird lady:
Subject:Very bad manners.
Body: Whoever you are, your manners are less than nice and actually quite repugnant.

I really hope you are not my daughter.

Again, no response, and I received


Letter #3 from this weird lady:
Subject: That’s right.
Body: You have always thought yourself to be clever. You think that gets you someplace and it does. It just might not be the someplace you banked on.I am not following your Aunt Christy’s advice. She advised not to upset your apple cart. She says you are a valuable person in our family. She says alienating you by confronting you is wrong.I say bullshit

You have been defiant and ungrateful. You have walked over the top of me and all I ever did was love you and provide for you.

You called me a really bad word once. It starts with a C. I will say two words about now: Fuck You.

If in your life you ever knew what it feels like to hold everyone up then you can talk to me. You sit back like the Queen of Sheba and judge others who work hard to make things right.

I don’t know how it came to be, but you are the poster child of a spoiled brat.

You are an adult and it is time for you to grow up and quit this stupidity. I will tell you that nobody will do it for you. I know beneath your anger you still know the sensitive part of yourself. I know it is there.

So you stay mad at me and I’ll stay mad at you. I only care that you find peace in your heart. If it costs being mad and losing you that is alright.

Just be well please Val.

Finally I wrote back
Sorry, but do I know you?

Letter #4 from this weird lady:
I thought you were my daughter. If I am mistaken I apologize.

My response:
Unless you are Asian and live in Texas, then I don’t think you are my mom.

Letter #5 from this weird lady:
I am not Asian nor am I in Texas. Thank God for that. I am sorry but I just thought you were my daughter. Whoever you are, I would just like for this interaction not to be wasted.

Your monkey picture entitled, “Your Mom” feels really disrespectful. Whether or not you are my kid.

If you are just a mad young person, get over that because life will go on. If you are someone faking who you are then get over that because life will go on. Create whatever you want here but life will go on.

No matter who you are, as a lifetime member of the mom’s club I will tell you your mom loves you. She can’t help it.

What a weirdo. I feel sorry for her daughter.

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