Excellent emails received

And its only Tuesday.

From “Bottleneck” to someone on my team. On a daily basis, we receive input on creative projects from no less than 10 people. Once we sift through the chicken scratch and peanut gallery comments, we create something accordingly, send it out to the creative team, have it “approved” and then proceed to push the project to production. This email came day before the project was due to be delivered, from someone not on the creative team:

Hi –

S, B and I reviewed this and we’d like to make the following changes:

Swap placement of the baby photo and the copy block
Left-align the top banner copy and remove the period. Also, if you can bump up the type one or two points, it would be great.
Underline the product names
Make Shop new baby gifts > a button
Remove comma in bottom banner (“Don’t forget the new parents ,” )
Change bottom banner Headline to “Don’t Forget Mom & Dad”
Change bottom banner call-to-action: “Shop gifts for new parents >”
Please let me know if you have any questions.


I responded:
Hi Bottleneck,

We can add the button and underline product names, but I do not agree with switching the placement of the baby photo and the copy block unless there is a marketing reason behind it. From a creative standpoint, the copy block breaks up the space between products to make it less busy. Maybe if we removed the column of products on the top, we could expand then move the copy to the left and keep the baby image to the right. Is it that the space is too cluttered? Or is the messaging hidden? What are your concerns with the current layout from a marketing perspective?

Also, we can certainly up the point size on the top banner, but I do not agree with left aligning copy–it is a bit bizarre given the length of copy that exists. I think we should keep it consistent with what we do on our online banners and center it.

Bottleneck has a million other things he needs to improve on his end. He needs to focus on getting us creative briefs and feedback in a more timely manner, rather than try to pretend as if he is yet another art director. Marketing feedback, provided there is a reason, is welcome. This is not.

When my boss talked to him about it this morning, he straight up lied and told her that he wanted to change the arrangement because of something our email client suggested. He is lying. We created this email BASED ON what the email client said. Now he is saying otherwise. What a douche.

Other douche emails:
From Sly’s manager:

Here is the first few papers for review.

Looking for:
Voice consistancy
Layout consistancy

Thank you for your help. You should be receiving 2-3 of these each day. Call if you have any questions.

comment: no wonder his manager wants him to look over those papers. He “grammer” [sic] suck.

And yet another email strain from an art director from another company to another friend of mine:
From: Bitch Boss
Sent: Tuesday, March 11, 2008 9:24 AM
To: RS
Subject: RE: Good morning!

Yes please.

Also, are you using instant messanger?

From: RS
Sent: Tuesday, March 11, 2008 9:31 AM
To: Bitch Boss
Subject: RE: Good morning!

I have an account for msn.
Do you want me to log in so we can chat instead of emailing?

From: Bitch Boss
Sent: Tuesday, March 11, 2008 9:45 AM
To: RS
Subject: RE: Good morning!
No, our company policy is no instant messanger unless used for work purposes and since we don’t use it on our team and also that you are a temp, please do not use at work. I hope you haven’t been using it a lot.

comment: first you ask if she has messenger, leading her to believe that is how you want to communicate. Then when she logs on, you tell her its not acceptable and belittle her by saying she is “just a temp.”

Seriously, where do they find these fuckwits?

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  • Twilight
    March 15, 2008 at 7:26 am

    How many errors can you have in such a short email?

    Here IS a few papers?
    (grammar, yes)
    ConsistAncy? Twice?

    The grammar cop in me is cringing so badly.

  • Twilight
    March 15, 2008 at 9:56 am

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • Twilight
    March 15, 2008 at 10:02 am

    If he can’t use Word, maybe it’s time to go back and take English 101 in night school.

    The worst is when it’s someone who constantly misspells your name, even when you type it over and over again back in emails to the person. I mean how hard is “Jennifer”?! There’s one guy who did a country clearance cable for me and my name was spelled wrong, my info was full of typos, and my flight itinerary was really his for another country on different dates. Uhh and he didn’t get it cleared before sending it; he just sent it. How embarrassing. All the relevant parties at that embassy were confused, the command center was confused, the Secretary’s staff was confused… how did this guy get promoted to a deputy chief? Geez.

  • V
    March 15, 2008 at 9:47 am

    no wonder he has sly look over his stuff. lazy fuck.

  • V
    March 16, 2008 at 11:15 am

    Incorrect name spelling is probably the most inconsiderate things you can do to someone in the work place. There is no reason for it–in my office, when you type someones name, it will automatically populate the email with the correct first and last name. Additionally, if you are replying to an email, my signature and signature title block show the correct spelling. I understand if you’ve never had direct contact with the person or if you are referring to someone that you didn’t exactly know, but TO THE PERSON? Come on.

    My rule of thumb is that if a person can’t pay enough attention to detail to at the very least spell your name correctly, then they are stupid people. I find it very revealing.

    It’s either that or people will straight up call me Victoria or Valerie with little or no qualms, and then be absolutely dumbfounded when I don’t respond.