email correspondence

Mr. L____:
No problem about the phone thing, although I appreciate your
reassurance that it is not a specific aversion to conversing with me. I’ll be
happy to communicate with you via email, carrier pigeon, singing telegram, and
airplane messages written in the sky in smoke.

My response:
Mr. L_____,

Since you so graciously offerred, I daresay I would greatly enjoy receiving all correspondence via hand caligraphed (quill dipped in ink, of course) letters on hand-pressed watermarked paper (or a scroll depending on length of notation), folded and sealed with wax. The letter itself should be folded in such a way that would render an envelope unnecessary. Additionally, I expect said letters to be written by candlelight on an antique wooden desk, using english spellings such as “colour” and “theatre.”

You can place the aforementioned letters in a secret hiding place–perhaps a small crevice in a brick wall in an abandoned garden–or you can have your steward hand deliver them (as I assume there will be multiple letters) to my local address.

I expect to receive all correspondence in a timely fashion and without hesitation or delay.

Miss DX

C and I always joke that if you took his emails, transcribed them onto parchment and sealed it with a wax seal, then it would seem as if the letter were written in victorian times. he doesnt know we…er..I…think that…well, maybe he does now.

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