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Date #3

August 27, 2005

Met up with Dolby at Asia SF around 8pm. This is like the 2nd-3rd time this week that yahoo maps has been so completely off. Either that, or I am so completely stupid. Anyway, unlike the night before, I arrived late, but not 25 min late.

He was waiting for me patiently outside. We greeted one another with “hey” and that was about it. My attire was fairly moderate–jean skirt, red top, heels. Nothing compared to what the Canadian was trying to get me to wear: black miniskirt w/lowcut black shirt. God, I’m so glad I decided to err on the side of being conservative.

For those who don’t know, Asia SF is a restaurant/bar where guys in drag, who double as cocktail waitresses, dance on top of the bar and perform songs. I thought that it would be outside his comfort zone, but to be honest, I was feeling the heat crawl up my neck when I watched these girls. Not bc they were in drag, but bc their routines were so sexual, and we were so packed in, and I was sitting so close to Dolby, that…I dunno. embarrassing. If we had been sitting just 2 more seats down, I would have had my head stuffed into some girl/guys crotch during one of the routines. thank god I didnt.

Bc we had the crappiest seats at the edge of the bar, right near 3 bachelorette parties, the manager gave us free drinks. Food was good–asian/fusion–and Dolby was actually very genteel–let me walk in front of him, ordered for me, offered me his jacket, etc etc etc. Maybe all my scathing emails to him actually hit a nerve.

At the end of the night, the bartender had given us a gazillion free shots–straight up. Dolby got up to get his jacket from coat check and while away, the bartender proceeded to hit on me. We chatted for a long time, and he asked what my situation was with Dolby. I told him we were just dating and hadnt known each other for that long, etc. The bartender was cool about it, though–not sleezy. He asked me if he was a good guy, and I said that so far, from what I could tell, he seemed very nice. So the bartender said, “Theres one way to find out how good a guy he is…lets check to see how much he tipped.”

The bartender opened the folder where Dolby had already paid and signed the check, and took a look. After a long look, he looked up at me and said, “He’s a good guy…a VERY good guy. VERY good.” Then he got all fakey paranoid and started looking over his shoulder to see if Dolby was around. Then he said, “Well, if it doesnt work out…but he seems like a good guy so good luck.” At this moment where I was becoming BFF with the bartender, and drinking more drinks (free, of course), Dolby came back. And then the bartender shakes his hand and says to me, “hes a good guy.” And then to him, something like, “take care of her.” And then we all seal the deal with another round of shots.

This was the best part of the night bc i think Dolby and I were finally somewhat relaxed and another drag show began–w/some of the same people that were in first show we saw. This time, we had more fun bc we knew all the parts that were embarrassing and all the answers to the cheesy sexual innuendos. For example, theres this one part where the lady says, “I could never be a cowhand.” And I said to Dolby, “Hmm, I wonder why?” (we had already heard this joke earlier in the night). Without missing a beat, Dolby responded sarcastically, “Hmm…Im not sure…something about not being able to keep your calves together?” To me, that moment was the best of the night bc I actually sort of felt like just *maybe* there was some sort of connection.

We left Asia SF and walked outside to the freezing cold air. Before I get into the second part of the night, I should say that Im back on medication. Its nothing too intense, but when I take 1800g of Motrin a day and mix it with alcohol, it makes me so extremely tired. Tired in the way you feel after you have been up for more than 24 hrs. Like your body is so exhausted but you mentally keep trying to push yourself to stay awake. That’s how I felt.

Dolby walked me to my car and he said that if I wanted to head back to my place, we coudl find a bar or something over there so that I could just walk home really easily. I ended up driving him back to Noe w/me and he told me stories about all the bones he has broken in his body. As we looped around 24th street, everythign start to hit me like a ton of bricks–all the food I had crammed into my mouth that day, all the alcohol I had drank, all the medication I had taken. In a matter of minutes, I felt as if I were going to pass out. And I didn’t care where or how.

I ended up driving back to my place, thinking that if we hung around there, I could prob get some water and stay awake a little longer. Im sure just bringing him back to the apt was really suggestive, but whatever. Anyway, I got home, and there were a ton of people watching tv downstairs, so we went upstairs. I showed him the view and being that it was a rare clear night, it was spectacular. So there we were, together, alone, enjoying the view. I noticed he was inching closer to me, but at this point, I think my body was going into shock or something b/c I became extremely chilled, and started chattering my teeth (so attractive!!) and right as he reached my side, I turned around and went inside.

We goofed around upstairs while i showed him some of my crap. I really didnt know what to do b/c it was taking every ounce of energy for me to keep my eyes open, but at the same time, I did want to hang out and just chat with him. We went back downstairs to the kitchen. I introduced him to C. C kind of looked at me and I couldnt really look her in the eyes bc i was so smirky. Then we stood in the kitchen chitterchatting for a long time about halloween costumes. At one point, he was telling me a story, but i had my head rested against the fridge and i seriously thought about lying on the floor and going to sleep. what can i say, it wasnt logical. I should have just told him, instead of probably confusing the hell out of him, but in my head, I just didnt think to do it. stupid.

So then we finished our waters and I kept saying how tired i was. I asked him what he wanted to do, and he said, “well, if you are tired, I can leave. If you want to hang out, we can hang out.” without thinking about anything more than my present desire to sleep, i said, “I want you to leave then.” God, when it came out I was like holy crap that did not come out the way I wanted. I mean it did, but it didnt. I tried to further explain that I wasn’t trying to brush him off, but that I was really just tired, but I think the damage had been done. I think that he was a little bit pissy and probably confused as hell.

I told him Id walk him to the door, and he sarcastically said thanks. At the door, we sort of stood and stared (thank god theres a hallway separate from my actual apt unit so that my roomies dont have to wintess this crap). So we stared, and I could tell he wanted to say something, but he didn’t, then after a long pause, he finally said, “so is this something you would want to do again?” And I immediately said yes, but added, “after all this, you’re still coming back for more? Aren’t you just a little bit scared?” He responded, “should I be scared?” I said, “well, I dont think so, i mean, Im normal, but Im just tired…I cant believe youd still want to go out after all the grief I give you in email.” Dolby said, “But I actually think your emails are funny.”

More staring. Then he said it was my turn to come up with something and we were trying to think of what days worked and I just wanted to go to sleep already so i said really bluntly, “well, we dont have to decide tonight, do we?” He responded that we didn’t.

And so we stood there with more staring. I think he was trying to figure out what the hell to do. I mean first i invite him in, then I tell him to leave. He started to make a motion towards me, and then he stopped himself, backed away, and said he would see me later. We just kind of said goodbye, and i thanked him for dinner, and that was it.

On the way out, I noticed that tucked in his back pocket was this catalog I gave him. Its a work catalog that I wrote “happy birthday gramps” on, along with a picture of him as a skeleton/old man. I thought he had left it in my car, but no, he had it in his back pocket the whole time.

After he left, it took me 2 minutes to pass out.

This morning, feeling bad for how I must have been perceived last night, I emailed him thanking him for dinner, telling him that I had fun, and explaining to him that I should have really stuck to just one drink. god im so stupid.

Anyway, we’ll see what happens, I guess.

C and I are going out tonight. We are calling tonight CT05, in memory of the night we went to this meat market on 6th St. in Austin — a place called Copper Tank. That night was legendary for the both of us–we met no fewer than 10 guys–and all of them approached us. A true turning point in dating history–the night we figured out how easy it really was.

Its been a long time since then, though. Im not sure we can pull it off…but we’re going to try. I just need to lay off the booze.

On another note–Beaker wrote me 2 emails on Friday. The “thank you” email, which I totally love, and another longer email to my response to his initial email. My coworker mentioned that it was strange how he emailed me but then didnt suggest hanging out. The Canadian told me this is because he has game (or is trying to have game) and that he has to do the standard 3 day waiting period before he suggests anything. As The Canadian said, “you wouldn’t want him to call you right away, anyway, would you?” Truth is, I wouldn’t. Too soon would be…too soon.

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